Caroline Phillips

Journalism

Caroline Phillips
“Caroline Phillips is a tenacious and skilful writer with a flair for high quality interviewing and a knack for making things work.”

Caroline Phillips

Journalism

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The night I was ambushed in my car – by a 13-year-old with pigtails

Evening Standard | 14 Jul 1990

It was seven o’clock on Tuesday evening when four children attacked me. I’d never met them before, never set eyes on them. I had just parked my car, a geriatric red Volkswagen Golf, in the King’s Road, by the World’s End estate. I was meeting friends, and was wondering whether I’d get a ticket for parking there. Just then, a young girl with pigtails crossed the road, walked between the rear of my vehicle and the one behind it, and delivered a forceful kick to the back of my car followed by smashing her hand on the rear windscreen.

What on earth did she think she was doing, I asked, as I wound down the window.


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Ted Heath: Sailing past the cynics

Evening Standard | 14 Jul 1990

Edward Heath is known for being pompous and aloof, a bad loser, having an under-active thyroid, sailing, and conducting boats and orchestras respectively.

Could he, in fact, be sensitive, gentle, reflective and shy; a man who uses his intellect as an armour against public expression of feeling?

“People used to say ‘We must do something about your image’. They never got to that point,” he says, in the voice of a tape recorder whose batteries are running low, “because I said, ‘I don’t believe in images – you should be yourself’.” And to the best of his ability, he is.


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Richard Harris: Fire on ice…

Evening Standard | 8 Jun 1990

A former wild man and hellraiser turned Bahamian island recluse; erstwhile hard drinker turned hypoglycaemic, once rumbustious and still unpredictable and funny. A man who, they say, cannot go out to buy a packet of cigarettes without causing chaos.

Multi-millionaire actor and poet, gentle and with a face – steel rim bespectacled – that has been described as being like five miles of bad Irish road. Twice bankrupt, twice married, an eccentric who loves the vagabond life… Is this Richard Harris, currently playing Pirandello’s madman Henry IV?


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The lentil touch

Evening Standard | 4 Jun 1990

They are crawling around in the dark on all fours making animal noises. Among them Bearded Bernie, a Liverpudlian solicitor, a translator and a girl who cycled here from Barcelona.

The scene: a lovely Greek farmhouse. The aim: to find your partner for the co-listening exercise, hold hands, listen intently to what he says, and then feed him back his words.

Welcome to the Guardian readers’ Butlins.


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When credit runs out at the sperm bank

Evening Standard | 20 Nov 1989

It’s hellishly hard to get hold of frozen sperm these days. I’m sitting in the Lister Hospital – the Dorchester of London hospitals – in the waiting-room of the Assisted Conception Unit. The doctor is running three-quarters of an hour late. I can only console myself with the thought that if I were going for artificial insemination on the National Health I’d probably have to wait months.

I am hoping to get offered some sperm-bank sperm and thus become one of the growing number of single women who are accepted for artificial insemination by donor sperm (AID).


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Tramp and the ladies

Evening Standard | 8 May 1989

The pouting girl in the loo shimmered, unremarkable legs squeezed into Lycra tights and see-how-far-you-can-go skirt hitched high. “Go on, you’re next,” she said. “It’s your turn.”

“I don’t want any,” I say.

“It’s coke.” She proffers a razor blade packet of snow provocatively from the palm of her hand. Outside, blissfully unaware, Mrs Toilet Attendant, sixtysomething, loses her rag: “Hurry up. We’re B-U-S-Y.” She spells out the word. Nearby stands a dish of peppermints, le pre snog preparation that the management vous propose, and a mound of makeup left behind.

Thus begins a night at Tramp, the London nightclub in which Pamella Bordes picked up Sunday Times editor Andrew Neil.


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Roll out the doggie

Evening Standard | 14 Mar 1989

My family has what must be London’s only dachshund on wheels. She’s called Muffit. Crufts and suchlike are fine – working dogs, gun dogs, pedigree chums, prowling prancers and canines with unpronounceable Chinese names. But against her, they pale into insignificance.

Muffit was under the supervision of Keith Butt, the Adonis vet whom women cross London to see (they stop off in Harrods en route to buy a pet to take with them). Following an accident in which her back legs had become paralysed, he suggested she be sent to the kennel in the sky.

My father went to see her in doggy hospital to give her her last grapes. He ended up writing a cheque for some fantastic amount (relative to the size of the dog) which was duly dispatched to the States (where else?) where some doggy wheels were speedily fired, or run up or whatever you do to make canine roller skates.


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My father, the luckiest President

The Times | 8 Feb 1988

This week a commission of historians will deliver their verdict on the wartime conduct of Kurt Waldheim. For his most ardent supporter, his daughter Christa, there can be only one possible outcome.

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Ladies’ day in the killing fields

The Times | 6 Jan 1988

Sue Smith first went shooting 20 years ago, when she was seven. Her father, a gun-smith, took her on a duck shoot. At 10, she was giver her first gun, ‘a 28-bore, the next size up from a 410’. She went pigeon shooting.

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